Oh, My Dog.

Since I have had Beast, he has:

• peed on the floor
• pooped on the floor
• gotten worms on my bed
• gotten worms on me
• destroyed all of his toys
• vomited pieces of his toys
• pooped out pieces of his toys
• made me sit beside his food bowl and throw pieces of food at him so that he would eat
• chewed through a friend's new computer cord
• chewed through my Playstation controller cord
• chewed through a blanket
• chocked on the fuzz from said blanket
• vomited pieces of said blanket
• chewed on my guinea pig's cage
• successfully unhooked a safety pin from my guinea pig's cage 
• booped noses with my guinea pig (They're homies now.)
• slept in my lap while I was sick
• cuddled with me while I was shivering
• licked my hands clean
• cleaned up bits of food that have fallen onto the floor
• made me click random things on my laptop
• eaten all of my roommate's puppy's food from her bowl
• scattered pieces of food everywhere when he knew he was in trouble
• hid his face when he knew he was in trouble
• hid under the table when he knew he was in trouble
• greeted me every day with love and a big wet kiss

Since having Beast, I have:

• cleaned the floor probably 1,789,323,984,746 times a day
• learned to overcome my fear of worms (mostly)
• vacuumed the whole apartment three times (We used to vacuum maybe twice a month before getting the pups. Don't judge; we're clean people.)
• thrown food at a whimpering dog because his ribs were showing and I couldn't get the little monster to eat unless I did so
• paid for a new computer cord
• paid for a new Playstation controller cord
• reached down my dog's throat countless times to dig out pieces of toy, blanket, etc.
• sat (worriedly) and watched (like a hawk) as my pets became friends
• had a study buddy when I wanted one
• had a cuddle buddy (and instant foot warmer) when I needed one
• gotten my hands (somewhat) clean without using soap
• "accidentally" dropped food on the floor 
• actually accidentally dropped food all over the floor
• found the answer to some of my homework online (thanks to a curious puppy)
• chased my puppy around the living room with a fly swatter while screaming, "NO, BEAST! THAT ISN'T YOUR FOOD! DAMMIT! COME HERE!"
• laughed my butt off at my puppy
• cried after getting onto my puppy (Shut up.)
• learned that taking care of a puppy is REALLY hard work when you're sick and worn out
• been greeted by my best friend in the world every day with a tail wag, 4 rambunctious paws, and a heart that is more loving than mine could ever hope to be.