The "Incident"

I have debated posting this story for a really long time but I've decided that it's too funny and too important for people to know to not post. So here goes:

"The Incident" happened on a night like any other night. I had gotten tucked in bed all warm and snuggly with BeastyBoy and we quickly fell asleep. My boyfriend usually comes over after he gets off work at 4 AM. I got out of bed to open the door for him and I didn't notice anything strange. However, when I got back in bed, I felt something wet on my elbow. I know what you're thinking. "Oh, God. The dog peed the bed. Big deal, Paige." 

Well, you're wrong. 

What I saw in the bed was most definitely not pee. It wasn't even an "it". It was a "them". And they were worms. Skinny little wiggly worms all over my bed. Big ones, small ones, dead ones, live ones. EVERYWHERE. 

Now, for anyone who knows me, they know I'm not grossed out by virtually anything. Blood, vomit, poo, pee...whatever grosses everyone else out, I run to. But I've never dealt with worms. At least not this many worms. There were probably 1,000. (Okay, that's a lie. There were probably, like, 20. But seriously, they're worms. Does it matter how many there were??) Worms are my downfall, I guess. So, after noticing the worm on my elbow, my whole body shut down. I didn't know whether to cry or scream or puke. I have never been grossed out like that. I just started gagging and crying profusely. My boyfriend, on the other hand, was laughing his butt off at me. When he noticed that I wasn't kidding, he became more somber and told me to go get a shower while he washed my sheets (thanks, Bradlee). While I was getting a shower, he put a new set of sheets on the bed. I wasn't sure whether to touch Beast or not. I mean...those worms came out of him. Oh, dear God. I'm getting nauseated just thinking about it again. 

Anyway, I decided that, no matter how wormy my puppy dog was, I wanted him near me. I was VERY careful about the worms, though. I took him to the vet and got him some worm treatment. And when he pooped, I stuck my face close to it to examine it for worms. And when he slept, I picked his tail up to make sure none were making their exit. And when he was standing there, I was watching for them. I was serious about getting rid of those nasties.

But I can now say that Beast is completely worm-free and as healthy as can be. I just hope I never see another worm in my life and I swear to goodness if one ever touches me again, I will barf on scene. Right there. I don't like worms, you guys. The moral of this story? Just because your puppy has worms doesn't mean it's the end of the world (although you might stand there and cry like a big baby in front of your boyfriend). It just means that your baby is sick and they need medicine. And after they take their medicine, they'll be perfectly fine. Take care of your pets. And always check for creepy crawlies.